Women in our society appear to be more responsible than men in the areas of marriage and family. Women seem to naturally know how to take responsibility for being a wife, mother, and home maker whereas men seem to have to grow into the responsibilities of husband, father and in some cases provider. As I thought about how this difference came to be, I realized that it is rooted in how little girls play compared to little boys.
A little girl’s play time is mostly centered on having responsibility for a home and raising children. They have dolls, doll houses, toy cooking sets, ironing boards, vacuum cleaners, tea sets, etc. to play with which teaches them how to be responsible for a home and children at an early age. Girls (older than 20) have mothers who insisted that they learn to cook, clean, etc. so that they would be ready to accept that responsibility. Boy’s play, on the other hand, involves competitive sports or games of conquest. Boys are usually given responsibility for things like taking out the trash or washing dishes and, half the time, have to be made to do that. They are not usually given responsibility for things like babysitting.
Boys who play with girls or are found playing with a doll are usually discouraged or chased to the ball field for fear of confusing their gender identity. This leaves boys at a distinct disadvantage once they become men and enter matrimony. Women go into marriage already knowing what to do with a child whereas men barely have a clue. Women expect men to be immediately responsible in marriage, home making, and child rearing but do not realize that most men are not response able.
Under normal circumstances, a man would never be given responsibility who has not demonstrated that he has response ability. We would never allow a woman to perform surgery on us who has not had the training and demonstrated that she has surgical ability. A man cannot be expected to be responsible for a wife, home, and children when he does not have the knowledge necessary to make him response able. Without the knowledge to be responsible, a man lacks the ability to appropriately respond. Since most men did not learn what they needed to know as boys on how to be husbands and fathers, they must learn how to be response able from their wives. Thus, women must understand what happened to their men, be patient, and help them develop the response ability for home and family.
Removing social stigmas and cultural memes and allowing little boys to play with dolls, with little girls, and competitive sports will help them learn to be fathers, husbands, and to get along with women at an early age. It will also prepare them for all of the responsibilities they will have as men and give them the knowledge they need to be response able.
LITTLE BOYS SHOULD PLAY WITH DOLLS