There are many elements of love.
However, there are only three essential elements of love:
Freedom • Justice • Equality
To be essential means a thing would cease to be what it is without that element or elements. An essential element of cake is sugar. A cake without sugar is only bread. Without the essential element, despite one’s best efforts, the other elements alone would not become cake. Similarly, without the essential elements of freedom, justice and equality love would not become love despite one’s best efforts to build it.
Ecclesiastics 4:12 helps us to see that real love is like a three fold cord that is not easily broken. One cord alone is much easier to break than three cords woven together. It is much harder for a couple to break up that is intertwined in love when they have given each other freedom, justice and equality.
Freedom is present in love when each person is free to be who GOD created them to be. A woman is free when she does not have to hide her strengths to protect her husband’s weaknesses. A man is free when he can work as long as he feels he needs to provide for his family and advance his career.
Justice is present in love when the rules that apply to one in the relationship apply to both. If a man wants to stay out with his friends all night, there should be no problem if his wife does the same thing. That would be just. If a woman wants to pick or comment on the clothes her husband wears or demand that he not hang out with certain friends, her husband should not be accused of being controlling if he picks her clothes or friends.
Equality is present in love when one is not elevated over or made more important than the other. A wife’s career, hopes and aspirations, for example, should not be put on hold until after her husband accomplishes his. A woman who wants her husband to have hard pecks and washboard abs should be tight in those areas also. The standard that one has for their mate should be the same standard that they maintain themselves.
When freedom, justice and equality are present in a relationship then love can grow and become what it was meant to be.
