We have faith in a relationship once we can confess, without wavering, a lifetime commitment to another. This faith is an expression of a sincere hope that the marriage we dream of can be fulfilled. Moreover, it is hope in that which we fully expect to receive and a happy anticipation of good. We have no evidence to support our faith but we just hope that we are right.

After spending time and obtaining intimate knowledge of a person, we begin to know the relationship will be good. Knowledge comes via intimacy. Marriages break down before they begin because intimacy comes through conversation not intercourse. Couples spend too much time in intercourse and very little time building intimacy. Thus, they get cold feet at the wedding because they have not built intimacy. Ladies, there is no reason for a man to give you intimate knowledge of him once you have sex. It is unproductive to share physical intimacy before receiving spiritual, mental, and emotional intimacy. Intimate knowledge leads to love.

Next month’s article will be on the essential elements of love so I won’t go into detail here. However, love or affection does not occur in a man’s heart, it begins in his mind. If you want to get to a man’s heart, you have to get into his head.

In order to have a long lasting relationship there must be trust. Trust begins with a belief that we can have a good relationship and moves to faith. Faith becomes knowing after we have obtained intimacy which leads to love. Love will turn into trust.

Now, a couple can be open and naked before one another emotionally and have no doubt that their mate will not use their vulnerability against them. No matter what hardships they must endure to be and stay married, they will endure because they trust that they can reach their destination together.

A relationship should have already reached the level of trust before a couple gets married. Otherwise once the hardships of becoming married kick-in after they get married, it will be difficult to remain married.