 Registry Etiquette
Etiquette surrounding gifts of any kind is quite particular: At no time can you make it seem as though you are demanding or even expecting a wedding gift. Here are some tips to help you navigate this complex subject.
Building Your List
When you are creating your list, be sure to choose a variety of items in all price ranges. This ensures that the list is useful for guests of all economic situations.
Many couples say they would rather receive money instead of gifts. Unfortunately, this wish cannot be communicated directly due to the rule about not expecting gifts. As an alternative, many stores offer the option to register for gift cards. Or, if you are trying to save for a home or honeymoon, set up a registry specifically for this purpose.
How Do I Get The Word Out?
After you have completed your registry lists, you may be wondering how guests will know where you have registered. Etiquette says that gifts cannot be mentioned in any way on the wedding invitation, or even as an enclosure with them. It is certainly a tradition that guests will give a gift (hence why couples register), but it's impolite to seem as if you are asking for them or telling people where to buy them.
The best way to get the word out to people who are wondering is to post the information on your wedding website (if you have one). Also, if people ask, you (or other family/friends) can certainly tell them! Lastly, if you are having any showers, it is fine to put the registry info in those invitations.
Guests Are Not Obligated To Use Your Lists
Be prepared to receive items that are not on your lists. Some people may have a specific gift in mind for you, or it may not be convenient for them to shop at the stores with which you have registered. Regardless of whether you like the gift or not, a gracious thank you note is mandatory. Remember, you can usually figure out where it came from and return it after the wedding. Or, it may turn into a cherished heirloom, you never know! Always remember, a gift is a thoughtful memento from someone who loves you in honor of this special occasion.
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