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New Year's Resolutions for a Healthy Marriage
We can blame a lot on the state of our economy and nation. Statistics back us when we look at marriages that crumble due to financial issues. So it stands to reason that in a poor economy, marriages will feel even more stress. And what better way to combat it than taking a few moments to agree to some New Year's resolutions or goals with your spouse.
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Pray Together - When you and your spouse are united in a common goal, you are more likely to keep lines of communication open, support one another, etc. Ecclesiates 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." When God is the center of your marriage, the "cord of three strands" (husband, wife and God) cannot be quickly or easily broken.
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Talk - We have busy lives especially when you factor in children, schedules, school, work, social duties, etcetera. The first thing that usually goes, due to exhaustion, is talking with your spouse. After almost a decade of marriage, my husband and I communicate in a shorthand that requires very little interaction. A few months ago, we sat down and really talked, like we have not in years. It was unusual...we had been together so long we thought we knew everything about the other. It was nice to just discuss things that come up from dreams and future plans to politics. After that first re-acquainting, we have tried to carve out time to chat at least once a day. It is not only refreshing but also comforting.
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Act in Love - It can be easy to blame others for issues that come up in a marriage or even just everyday existence. Who was supposed to take out the trash? Who forgot it was his turn to pick up the children? Stress creeps in and zaps your energy. If both partners in the marriage can resolve to act in love, hold the other in higher esteem than him/herself, then the load is lighter and life is easier.
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Kiss - Newlyweds do not have a problem here! But as you start to tuck those years of marriage away, kissing begins to get tucked away too. Start each day with a hug and kiss and end it the same.
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Say "I Love You" - Regardless of what happens, never forget to say, "I love you." These three simple words hold so much meaning and reminders. We try to always say it in the mornings, at night and every time we talk on the phone. A long time ago, I heard someone say that she and her husband always said this in saying good-bye and she was so glad they did. When she last spoke to him on the phone, she signed off with the traditional "I love you" and those were the last words she ever said to him as he was killed in a car crash on his way home. Simple words we often take for granted, but powerful words nonetheless.
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Get into Shape - A great team-building exercise for your marriage could be combining your weight-loss or exercise goals. It is always easier when you have a partner, so why not make it your spouse?
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Speak Positive - Resolve to talk about your spouse, but never negatively! My girlfriends and I have a message board we talk on regularly and have a special spot for bragging on our dear husbands. You will be amazed what gets back to your spouse. If you brag on him, you cannot help but have a better mindset toward him. My boss was talking recently about his wife and telling me what a wonderful friend she is to him. I love to hear that! And when she comes into the office, I have a new view of this woman who so inspires her husband.
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Have Dinner - Simple things can keep a marriage healthy. Time may be a hard thing to work out but attempt to have meals together as much as possible.
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Date - Date your spouse. Keep working on common ground whether it is finding a sport, activity, movie, etcetera to go to together. If money is tight, find something that does not require cash: picnics, drive to see the fall colors, or a walk or hike.
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Support - When your spouse is going through something you do not understand, resolve to listen and be supportive. I do not always understand my husband nor does he understand my issues, but a loving word, a listening ear, and supportive acts mean more than advice or attempts "fix" things.
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By By Carol Wilkins •